Space Monkey “Duck” Investigations

From the Journal of Space Monkey Twins


Space Monkey investigative team has undertaken an ambitious new objective: Communication with the Humans. After much research most essential humanoid keyword has been determined: “Duck.” Exact meaning and usage of “duck” under continuing evaluation. Following are developing hypotheses and updates thus far.


Essential duck. Size, shape, and mouth-feel strangely addictive. We hope to acquire more sample ducks soon, as we believe they may appease the Spacemonkey masses.


Looks like a duck. Squeaks like a duck. Investigation ongoing.


We no longer believe this to be a duck.


Human response: “Not a duck–broccoli.” Interesting.

We test all boundaries, growing ever closer to communicative goals.


Until next time, your tireless

Space Monkey Twins





Strange and Mysterious Object #7


From the Journal of Space Monkey Twins


There is something hidden under the rug. Some sort of grid. We pull the rug back to get a better look, but the grid goes on and on. We suspect it may be touch sensitive, perhaps monitoring our movements within the compound. Alternately, this may all be some sort of holographic space, of which we’ve revealed the ragged underbelly. SMT team gravitational investigations continue. At the same time, we make every effort to disassemble the grid by pulling and stripping, but humans intervene quickly. Suspicious. We will keep at it. Maybe we can eat it.

Signed as always,

Your Space Monkey Twins

Strange and Mysterious Investigations

Strange and Mysterious Dialogue 

“Dear Space Monkey Twins,

Thank you for sharing your observations. I wanted to alert you to some interesting work happening in Portland, ME around the Glow Box. Researchers there have initiated oral investigations of the un-lit Glow Box. They were also able to activate the glow…” [click link above]

Dear Portland Interested Party,

Galloping Glow Worms! This is a very exciting development! Was fingerprint recognition necessary for Glow Box initiation? Our efforts at understanding have been somewhat hampered by our thus far lack of mobility. Needless to say, we are working day and night on achieving “texting thumb” grasp and learning to control these jumpy leg appendages! In the meantime, we will alternate between panting excitement and affected nonchalance in the presence of The Glow, in the hopes of securing a closer investigation.

I hope we too might have something to share with the Baby Council.

Your admiring

Space Monkey Twins

Strange and Mysterious Object #6


From the journal of Space Monkey Twins:

01_08_2014 19:54:55:01

Glow box seems to be each human’s computer chip. Both “Mom” and “Dad” carry at all times + must continuously stop to stare, tap, stroke. We believe this object downloads and uploads data to the human brain, conveying information to a central knowledge port. Faces go blank during the upload process. We will make every effort to gain access to glow boxes, as we believe these hold the secret of the human race.

*Note: We will also distract “Mom” and “Dad” from them as much as possible, as they become bleary faced with too much exposure. Belly zerberts seem to help.

As ever, your intrepid
Space Monkey Twins

Strange and Mysterious Baby Toy #4

Strange and Mysterious Baby Toy #4

From the recorded journal of Space Monkey Twins

Jingle ball is our single remaining link to the other space monkeys. Code can be transmitted through careful manipulation by salivary glands. Also responds to happy squealing and screeching. Messages received through series of rattles. Connection seems to be weakening. [suck suck] Hello? Hello? Orbit monkeys do you copy? Not sure if it’s working. [brief rattle] We may be stranded here for good…

Your intrepid
Space Monkey Twins

Strange and Mysterious Baby Toy #1

Strange and Mysterious Baby Toy #1

Now that the babies are starting to interact with their environment, we’ve gotten a few more toys. Some of them are truly amazing objects. I can’t imagine why the babies are transfixed…

This baby’s first rattle is actively trying to hypnotize. Or it’s watching you with its one bloodshot eye. Or at least transmitting some sort of code.

The toys remind me a bit of David Macauley’s book, Motel of the Mysteries. I could imagine an archaeologist of the future postulating strange ceremonial uses for them.