Babies give us plenty to worry about. They aren’t growing fast enough! They’re going to choke on this food I’m giving them! They aren’t stimulated enough! Worry, of course, is rarely productive. But what hadn’t occurred to me was that worry might actually be a weapon…to be used against one’s spouse.
Here’s what I mean. With twins it’s impossible to watch them both at all times. Sometimes one needs a diaper change, and you can’t just carry them both upstairs. Or you have to take a shower, or you’re changing one, or putting the other one down for a nap, or maybe you just have to sit at the table and breathe for a minute. To keep them safe and happy we’ve been putting them in a super yard in the living room. But now this has created another opportunity for worry. Parents of just one baby don’t seem to have super yards. I don’t want my babies to get to explore less because they’re twins. (And I wouldn’t mind having the living room back, either.)
Last night I brought the idea up to D that we might make the whole living room into a big super yard by gating it off from other rooms and baby proofing. He took one look around, walked over to the cold hard fireplace edge and banged on it. This isn’t safe, he said. I took it as an accusation. I’m not concerned enough.
Of course, MY worry of choice for the babies is choking on coins, coins which D leaves all around the house in little piles which he empties out of his pockets. Hm. Something about these worries suddenly seems a bit arbitrary…or maybe not arbitrary at all.
“Well at least together we cover all the bases,” he said. True. And then it was kind of funny.