Sleep Diaries


Nighttime, for the past couple weeks, has been a bit rough. If this post is somewhat incoherent, I’m blaming it on the lack of sleep.

Last night we almost made it. We slept solidly from about 9:30, through the night with no interruptions…until 4:40 a.m. At that point, the crying in my dream became crying in reality, and D and I were awake in the bedroom in the dark. At first waking, I somehow assumed it was 6 am. My first thought was, “man, I feel tired,” and I had the sinking feeling that I would never wake up feeling rested again. Then I looked at the clock.

When we became conscious enough we could tell the crying was M. This was hopeful. M is usually not so difficult at night. A quick visit crib-side, lay her back down, a soothing tummy rub for a second or two and she’s back out, breathing deeply.

This time D went in for night duty. I heard him make his way around our bed; the babies’ doorknob clicked, then the nursery floor creaked as he crossed to the crib. For a moment there was no crying. Sweet silence. Then the floor creaked as he made his way out…”waaaah” another cry started up, E this time. D’s silhouette reappeared in the bedroom, quickly crossing to his side of the bed. “Damn! Damn! Damn!” We lay in the dark for a moment, not breathing, praying for her to fall back asleep.  The cries continued, increasing in urgency.

After that I don’t really remember (did we go back in, rock her, only to have the creaky floor wake her again as we tried to sneak out? Did they cry intermittently until 6, waking each other? Did I go in fruitlessly after 5 minutes, then 10, then 20? Eventually we brought E into our bed. Or was it M we brought?The nights blur together. In any case, there was no more sleep.)

It’s 9:20. Maybe I should go to bed.


Not Fair

Last night we were awakened at 2 am…by a mosquito! Babies slept through the night except for some brief whimpering around 3 am. Tomorrow night it will probably be a car alarm. 


Eight thirty feels about like midnight. We’re about to start the dreamfeed. Half asleep babies. Go to sleep not knowing when we’ll wake up, what the night will be like. Hoping for the day, it will come, when we’ll wake up refreshed, in daylight, ready.

Was That a Full Night’s Sleep?

Almost eight hours of continuous sleep. Last night was the most sleep I’ve gotten in the four months since the babies were born, and probably for at least two months before that, too, when I was experiencing the discomforts of late twin pregnancy.

They went to sleep at 10 pm and didn’t wake up until 5:45 am. My brain feels lighter! Cleaner! The fog is lifting! I won’t say I couldn’t use a few more of those to feel myself again, but still.

Could it be that we sleep trained them in one night? I don’t dare say it. Probably tomorrow they will wake up at 2 am screaming. Still, feeling proud of these babies and more hopeful about the future. Onward!

Sleeping (or not) with twins

So according to our pediatrician there is no reason why these babies can’t be sleeping through the night now. They’re big enough, they’re strong enough, but gosh darn it they are not sleeping through the night. Sometimes they sleep for seven hours straight…and sometimes only four.

It seems the way to fix this is by sleep training.  Up until now, when one of them would cry at night, we’d wake the other, too, and feed and change them both. When we asked the pediatrician how to sleep train his helpful suggestion was to “try not to pick them up.,” though he did smile a bit apologetically when he said it.

So last night they cried tag team style. Starting at 4:30 a.m. Bean cried for an hour, and then when she fell back asleep, space monkey #2 picked up the slack. At 6 a.m., M was crying and Bean was fast asleep, so we ended up having to wake Bean so we could feed both at the same time. Is this confusing to them? It’s confusing to me. Is it nap time yet?