7 Minute Workout With Toddlers


My sister turned me on to this seven-minute workout. The idea is you work really hard for seven minutes–pushups, planks, jumping jacks, crunches, etc–but it’s only seven minutes and then you’re done. Seems like it should fit my toddler-twin-mom, freelance lifestyle. So far I’ve done the workout twice. The first time I did it M and E were asleep. The second time, I tried it when they were awake…

I started up the app, which I’d downloaded onto my phone. A Siri-like voice instructs what exercise to do while the screen shows a little animation of a “wall sit” or “side plank,” whatever the exercise is, and beeps when the time is up. “Now rest” it instructs after each exercise, as a yellow timer ticks down ten seconds.

The first exercise was jumping jacks. When M saw me doing them, she jumped right in. She’s been working a lot on jumping and is pretty good at it now, but trying to put her arms in the air at the same time was an exciting new challenge.

Next up was the wall sit. I rushed to find a place on the wall as the timer ticked down. M came and leaned against the wall next to me. E did, too, and for a second we were all leaning against the wall together in the living room.  But then E got distracted by my knees and trying to climb in my strangely suspended lap. Wall sit ended a bit early.

For pushups, M lay down on the floor next to me, doing her own version of pushups (something like a seal) while E tried to climb on my back. Then they both tried to climb on my back, giggling. Abort.

Stepping on and off a chair, E came right up to the chair and put her hands on it, wanting to climb up, too. This is the chair next to the sideboard, the one the twins like to climb up on and press all the stereo buttons. I kept pausing to make sure I wasn’t going to step on her fingers. I also worried I was encouraging this climbing-on-chairs behavior. Suddenly Siri was saying, “now rest,” but i hadn’t done enough stepping up and down. To continue and cut short my ten second rest, or abort? Quick time is ticking!

Triceps dip on chair, in which you face away from the chair, feet on the floor while gripping the seat with your hands and lowering your bottom slowly up and down, stopped very quickly because E was trying to climb onto the chair behind me. The chair is a bit wobbly even without me straining at a precarious angle off the end of it. Visions of disaster. Next!

High knees running in place. This was more like it! “Who wants to run with me!?” I yelled, getting into the spirit of this collaborative toddler workout. But by then M and E were starting to lose interest.

Around five minutes, when we got to the second round of pushups, I ended the seven minute workout early because I was breaking a sweat and didn’t want to leave the house smelling like a dank underarm (I was fitting the workout in before we had plans to go out, which is the whole idea, right?). I still consider the workout a success and I love the seven minute concept. Maybe that’s what I should be doing right now, while M and E are napping, instead of eating cookies and writing this blog. Hm.


Space Monkey “Duck” Investigations

From the Journal of Space Monkey Twins


Space Monkey investigative team has undertaken an ambitious new objective: Communication with the Humans. After much research most essential humanoid keyword has been determined: “Duck.” Exact meaning and usage of “duck” under continuing evaluation. Following are developing hypotheses and updates thus far.


Essential duck. Size, shape, and mouth-feel strangely addictive. We hope to acquire more sample ducks soon, as we believe they may appease the Spacemonkey masses.


Looks like a duck. Squeaks like a duck. Investigation ongoing.


We no longer believe this to be a duck.


Human response: “Not a duck–broccoli.” Interesting.

We test all boundaries, growing ever closer to communicative goals.


Until next time, your tireless

Space Monkey Twins




Overheard: Two Four-Year-Old Girls at the Playground


I pull the double stroller up to the swings. Two young girls, maybe around four years old, are playing by the swing set. One of them has long brown hair and bangs. She is standing behind one of the baby swings pushing it roughly. The other has short blond hair and is wearing a white dress.  Following is their conversation. I’ve omitted my contributions, which were only extremely minimal.  

Brown-haired girl: Oh, man! That baby is going to take the baby swing. (Then, to me) My name is Madeline. 

My name is Nina. 

I wish my name was MadeLYN. I’m in Kindergarten. …wait, am I in Kindergarten? Or am I in nursery school?

This is my Easter dress.

I like that dress. … Is it your Easter dress, or is it your BUTT dress? 

(High pitched laughter from girl in dress) It’s my EASTER dress!

I HATE high school! High school is SO BORING! High school musical (singing). 

(High pitched laughter again)

I want to take my pants off up to my butt. (Both girls now sitting on the ground, swinging themselves around the base of swing set). 

I’m not wearing pants (girl in dress).

Let’s take our clothes off. 

I have Ariel on my underpants (announcing, generally. Then, to brown-haired girl) What kind of underpants are you wearing?

I’ll show you my underpants if you show me your underpants. 

How old are those babies? My brother’s name is Max. I’m not cute, Max is the cute one. 

Which one is older? … That means they were both in your belly at the same time? My mommy only had one baby in her belly. 

I don’t have a twin. 

I don’t have a twin. People say I’m like a twin with my brother, but he’s a BOY and I’m a GIRL. He has hazel eyes and I have hazel eyes. He has brown hair and I have brown hair. My daddy puts spikes in his hair. 

(Woman comes over and tells the girls it is almost time to leave)

This is my new best friend. (Looking at Dress Girl.) 

(Woman walks away again)

When my mommy tells me to do something I say, “Talkie Mama Rama Lama.” 

My Mommy’s name is Lisa. 

(Woman comes back again and the two girls leave with her)


…Names have been changed. I wonder what M and E will say when they can talk. 

Strange and Mysterious Object #7


From the Journal of Space Monkey Twins


There is something hidden under the rug. Some sort of grid. We pull the rug back to get a better look, but the grid goes on and on. We suspect it may be touch sensitive, perhaps monitoring our movements within the compound. Alternately, this may all be some sort of holographic space, of which we’ve revealed the ragged underbelly. SMT team gravitational investigations continue. At the same time, we make every effort to disassemble the grid by pulling and stripping, but humans intervene quickly. Suspicious. We will keep at it. Maybe we can eat it.

Signed as always,

Your Space Monkey Twins

Funny Search Terms That Have Brought People to My Blog


WordPress gives you all sorts of information about how people find your blog: what websites they link from, in what countries they live, and what search terms they used to find you. Turns out the search terms are pretty entertaining. (Or at least I find them entertaining.) Here’s a list of a few of the search terms that have brought people to this blog. I’m listing them exactly as they were used, typos, quotation marks and everything. Italics commentary is mine 🙂 :

feeling trapped at home with newborn twins (well yes, this one makes sense)

funny things people don’t know about me (what are you expecting to find…)

do monkeys breastfeed each others

celebrities with twins (that’s me!)

people who don’t like kids (…hmm)

googoo monkey toy

breastfes baby has stinky poop

dream that I can’t drive

baby booger picker

booger picker for babies

space monkey baby clothes (sign me up!)

unusual space objects 2014

crabhead toy

poop diaper

“the babies” prunes diaper

“jar of prunes” shit diaper


But then again, people also found it with these:

positive thinking around the holidays

value of nicu nurses

so thankful for my husband on christmas

So judging from this I have a very sappy blog involving lots of bodily fluids. Nice.

ps: I do not recommend googling anything having to do with poop.

Strange and Mysterious Baby Toy #4

Strange and Mysterious Baby Toy #4

From the recorded journal of Space Monkey Twins

Jingle ball is our single remaining link to the other space monkeys. Code can be transmitted through careful manipulation by salivary glands. Also responds to happy squealing and screeching. Messages received through series of rattles. Connection seems to be weakening. [suck suck] Hello? Hello? Orbit monkeys do you copy? Not sure if it’s working. [brief rattle] We may be stranded here for good…

Your intrepid
Space Monkey Twins

People With No Kids Don’t Know

People With No Kids Don’t Know

Okay I don’t like the title of this one. I don’t think there’s some big division between people with and without kids. But this video cracked me up. The whole part about “getting out of the house”? So funny. Though I thought things were supposed to get easier when the babies get older, not more challenging! 😦

Anyway, a little YouTube entertainment for a lazy Sunday.