Sleep Diaries

crying

Nighttime, for the past couple weeks, has been a bit rough. If this post is somewhat incoherent, I’m blaming it on the lack of sleep.

Last night we almost made it. We slept solidly from about 9:30, through the night with no interruptions…until 4:40 a.m. At that point, the crying in my dream became crying in reality, and D and I were awake in the bedroom in the dark. At first waking, I somehow assumed it was 6 am. My first thought was, “man, I feel tired,” and I had the sinking feeling that I would never wake up feeling rested again. Then I looked at the clock.

When we became conscious enough we could tell the crying was M. This was hopeful. M is usually not so difficult at night. A quick visit crib-side, lay her back down, a soothing tummy rub for a second or two and she’s back out, breathing deeply.

This time D went in for night duty. I heard him make his way around our bed; the babies’ doorknob clicked, then the nursery floor creaked as he crossed to the crib. For a moment there was no crying. Sweet silence. Then the floor creaked as he made his way out…”waaaah” another cry started up, E this time. D’s silhouette reappeared in the bedroom, quickly crossing to his side of the bed. “Damn! Damn! Damn!” We lay in the dark for a moment, not breathing, praying for her to fall back asleep.  The cries continued, increasing in urgency.

After that I don’t really remember (did we go back in, rock her, only to have the creaky floor wake her again as we tried to sneak out? Did they cry intermittently until 6, waking each other? Did I go in fruitlessly after 5 minutes, then 10, then 20? Eventually we brought E into our bed. Or was it M we brought?The nights blur together. In any case, there was no more sleep.)

It’s 9:20. Maybe I should go to bed.

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23 thoughts on “Sleep Diaries

  1. yes, it does pass… I remember those days so well! One night, several of the kids were just up. No reason just up. So we had a cookie and milk party. Those were the days when I was used to getting up and could do things like that. Its a fun memory!

  2. Ugh! We’ve had a rough few nights too. They mess with you, letting you sleep better for a few days (in our case, a week of waking only once at night after successfully dropping one of two night nursings) then they take turns crying most of the night for no reason. This too shall pass, right?

  3. I hope you’ll receive this comment… I’ve been trying to post three times today but without success. Just wanted to say… Don’t worry! It will change! It is a phase! They will grow and you will soon see a difference in your routine and sleep pattern. Be strong! Sending you warm wishes and hugs!

  4. Hah. I have to laugh at this…we’re in such different places. I see all your doubts on here (Will this end? It will get better, right?) and laugh and laugh. I’m in the exact opposite boat with my teenager here…..we can’t get him OUT of bed! Yes, Sparrow, it will end and then you’ll be on here posting that you never see your children and all they do is sleep! 🙂 Promise.

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