Tough Life for a Twin


The other day when I was sitting in the park another mother came by with her baby. Her son was ten months old and toddling around. He was big and jovial and very interested in M’s cheerios, which he took right away and started to chow down on, at some point also accidentally hitting her in the head with her cheerio cup. As I spoke to this mother I got more and more worried. Her baby was bigger than M and E and walking. She is teaching him to drink from a cup. He goes to story time at the library, to music classes, on expeditions.

Maybe, being twins, poor M and E are missing out. I still haven’t taken them to the library in Pittsburgh because I can’t walk there from the house, and the thought of lugging them anywhere in the car is still a bit too much. I’m also not going to haul them both up to the bathtub every day to teach them to drink from open cups. And they have to take turns who gets to come out of the play area to try climbing the stairs or exploring the kitchen, or having me hold their hands while they try to walk. The photo above is exhibit B. This is a picture of some marks on E’s wrist I discovered today when we were out in the park. There can be only one four-toothed perpetrator of that crime. Poor babies. It can be tough having a twin.

But then, they also laugh together and play games, and really I’m just making excuses for all of us. I just looked up the library story time schedule, and maybe we’ll try to go this week. It would do me good to see more of Pittsburgh in any case. And while we’re at it maybe we’ll drink from some open cups.


27 thoughts on “Tough Life for a Twin

  1. I do see advantages and disadvantages to growing up as a twin. Also having its ups and downs as you know- being the full time caretaker for twins is serious business that single baby moms have no idea about. My babes don’t get out as much as their peers. But does it really matter right now if they are not taking that advanced modern dance class and baby pilates? Geez, give us a break! Its hard enough getting them fed, changed, napped, and played with everyday. You have the right attitude though- keep pushing for those small goals like library story time.

    C+M are both biting each other with increased frustration. And I also have my share of baby teeth marks! I think getting us all out of the house is worth the trouble most days.

    • Yeah, you are right. I don’t really think library story time (or pilates or modern dance, ha 🙂 ) are what make a great childhood. Glad to know it’s not just these two who bite! Thanks for your words.

  2. Yes go to story time! My kids love it and also did at that age. Twins would make me nervous too though. Your arms must have the strength of a body builder! 🙂

  3. I call it another phase. So many phases to go through in life. Biting is an ‘ouch’ one. My grand kids battle like wrestlers. 4 & 6 years of age. Actually, 11/2 years apart. I babysit while parents work. By early evening, I am bushed. Nice post, by the way!

    • I guess they all learn to defend themselves first? Funny that wrestling still persists. Seems like such a puppy dog thing to do, learning to fight. Hopefully the biting will be a short-lived phase.

  4. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes I would hear about things that other kids were doing that I never thought of doing with my kids, sometimes because I didn’t think they were ready for it. But, oh well, live and learn.

    • Yeah, I’m not sure I went to music classes or library story time when I was younger. I wonder. Everyone participates in different things and it all turns out okay.

  5. Aww you are doing an awesome job! Just surviving with twins is all you can do some days! It really isn’t fair to compare yourself to another mom who only has one baby. The will be a day when you are going to the library and every place in between, and you won’t even think twice about putting it off a bit. :).
    We didn’t learn to drink from “big girl cups” until the girls were almost two. My sweet girls bit each other, too–that wasn’t a fun stage, but they did learn how to play well and share with other kids from a very early age. I think twins are much better in social situations for that very reason!
    Hang in there mama! I’ll be trying to play catch up after my terribly long wordpress absence. I need to set up email alerts for your fabulous blog!

    • Hi! I just visited your site yesterday wondering if you’d posted something new. Must have been ESP or something 🙂 Anyway happy to see you again. Thanks for the words of support. I agree, I don’t think drinking out of open cups is really that big a deal. They will learn when they’re ready.

  6. I’ve never been to a story time, but my youngest sister takes her sons sometimes. They all love it.

    The twins are lovely.

    • Thank you. I know, it’s just a small thing library story time, but since I used to work at a library I have libraries on the mind, and it’s something I’d like to do. We’ll see how it goes.

  7. You’ve hit right on my twin mommy fears and guilt. I worry about not giving them enough attention/cuddles/practice/etc. but I’m starting to see the upsides to twins now. I’ve caught V just smiling and laughing at M and I really wish I had a video of them sizing each other up last week. We’re starting to get into toy stealing but at least we have plenty of toys for now.
    Keep loving those sweet babies and they’ll never think they missed out. Who cares about library time anyway? (Ok, me, I’m dying to do “mommy and me” stuff but seriously not possible by myself with twins.)

    • Ha. Yes this whole post was written in a mood of succumbing to guilt and mom fears. I’m over it now. Sometimes it’s good to write it so you can dismiss the whole thing. I am going to go to library story time. And it’s really not a huge deal. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one/crazy.

  8. It’s so easy to compare yourself to other moms and your kids to other kids! I’m sure there are plenty of things you do that other moms would look at and wish they were doing (I would love to have your artistic talent to teach my kids!). I hope the library goes well for you. Twins are certainly a different ball game than just one at a time, and you seem to do it wonderfully.

    • Thanks for your kind words. You are right. I only give in to this sort of thinking when I’m not feeling at my best. Looking forward to the library.

  9. Never grown up around twins, but at this age, they don’t need tons of outside world stimulation (in my opinion). Do what you can manage, they will grow up great and you’ll take them out more when you feel comfortable and able.

    As for others doing things (more, better, etc) that your two aren’t, it is so hard not to judge and compare. I find myself doing it often with my one guy and have to remind myself that to see differences and similarities are great, but so long as my boy is progressing at his own pace, all is great! Your two will get there, in their own time. 🙂

  10. Yes I know you’re right, though as you say comparing is hard to resist. And I’m a worrier by nature. But this is not serious worry, I see them growing and learning every day, and I know they’re the best ever 🙂 Thanks for your reassuring words.

  11. I don’t know how this post managed to slip by me but I’ve been thinking a lot about it myself. How my kids learned to crawl/walk when they had other adults to give them a weekend of individualized attention – whereas when I’m by myself, I can’t help them grow like I could with one baby. And the biting – goodness, that’s a new and terrible thing.

    But in the end, the benefits are there and it’s just…we have bad days.

    • Yes, I know you’re right. Everything has good and bad aspects, and you focus on one or the other depending on your mood. It’s been a tough week 😛

  12. Been meaning to comment on this for a while. Never ever compare your babies with others! I think all babies are so different, how would you know that yours would be any different if you had them one at a time? All babies do things at different times. I agree, it’s hard to give one-on-one attention when there are two of them, it’s something I struggle with too – but I’m sure they’ll be fine whatever you do or don’t do. Having said that, I think it’s great to get out if you can, it’s not something I do much either but I struggle along to a playgroup once a week – I think it’s good for me and the babies! I’m glad you got to the storytime, it sounds great. Unfortunately in Hong Kong I don’t think they have any storytime in English 😦

    • Yes, you are right. I gave in to feeling a bit down when I posted this. And I agree about getting out more! It makes a whole lot of difference. I definitely need to find a play group here, I really enjoyed that when we lived in Brooklyn. Have a great week!

      • I think it’s hard when you move to a new place to find out all that’s going on. Good luck with finding one, I’m sure there are loads around.

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