My Preemies are Big

“She’s big!” That’s what the woman at the daycare said to me today. I could hardly believe my ears. It made me so happy. “That baby over there is seven months, and I think your baby is bigger. It’s good.”

But even as they grow pudgier, like lucky little buddhas you can’t resist giving belly zorbers, in my mind they are still the precious, frightening little 33-weekers stretching their tiny limbs in NICU incubators. The little 3 pound 11 oz, 4 pound 1 oz morsels.

Obviously I have to adjust my image. These are my big, pink-cheeked babies right here. They are not made of sugar or paper. Frightened, over-protective parenting leads to frightened, stressed children. I thought this old article from The Times was interesting. It talks about parents of premature infants and how they can experience a type of PTSD. M and E were born a month and a half early, which is really nothing compared to what some parents, like the parents quoted in the article, go through. But even a two and a half week stay in the NICU leaves an impression.

I can’t help it. My favorite comment from strangers about the babies is still, “They look so healthy!” I am hungry for the reassurance. But they have a lust for life. They are amazing.

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4 thoughts on “My Preemies are Big

  1. How old are your twins? Mine are 10 weeks 2 days. I love my boys more than anything but I’m having a hard time adjusting and I am feeling so…trapped. They both hate their carseats so I dread going anywhere with them. But, I can’t sit in this house anymore. Just wondering how old your babies are and any advice you can give to make each day a little easier. 🙂

    • Oh geez, I know how you feel!! I feel trapped, myself. That’s the hardest thing. I wrote a blog post on Sept. 16 called Trapped With Twins–so you are not alone! My twins are 5 months now. It has definitely gotten easier since 10 weeks, mostly because of the sleeping, and we’re just getting into a sort of routine. I feel like we can communicate a bit better. Not sure what advice I have, though! I make sure I go outside at least once a day, even if the babies are crying when I take them out of the house, even if it’s cold out. I need fresh air for my sanity. Thanks for commenting. Hang in there! And yay twins. Congratulations 🙂

      • Yes I try to get out the house too everyday. today I would like to venture out to a store to buy the nosefrida b/c my boys have stuffy noses 😦 I’m scared though. What if they both start crying in the car or worse the store? lol How two little 12lb things can cause so much anxiety lol. I’m just having a hard time adjusting. I feel like it’s never going to get easier. They’re always so…fussy. They play nice for a short while but them bam! How they can go from happy to screaming in a second I will never understand. I need a nanny lol

      • Heh–I ordered the nosefrida online. Big fan of online shopping now! Yeah, I know what you mean. Worrying about the twins getting fussy sometimes keeps me from going to do social things. But when I see other parents with fussy kids now, I just completely sympathize, which is how I think most people react when they see us with fussy twins. I think it gets a bit easier in terms of predicting when they will be fussy and preventing it as much as possible, but it’s pretty much just hard. Twins is hard. But it’s special! I agree I need a nanny, too 🙂

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