One of the most difficult things for me about being a mother of twins has been the loss of mobility. Singleton mothers seem so free: put the baby in a sling and they’re good to go. I’ve become fixated on strollers, because I can’t leave the house without one. I cannot move anywhere without gear. Between me and the outside is twenty minutes of shlepping up and down stairs with stuff, as I chronicled in this past blog post.
Take right now. I’ve got one twin on me in a wrap. She is the slightest bit fussy. The other is asleep in the swing. If I only had this one baby, I could grab the diaper bag and walk out of the house right now! It looks like a beautiful day! I know it’s good for babies to be out in different environments, and it’s good for my mental health, too. If she got fussy I could just come back. Sounds simple, right? But with two, by the time I’m out there they will probably be ready to eat again and I’ll have to repeat it all to come back in.
So here I am writing a blog post instead, worried that my babies aren’t stimulated enough and don’t get enough fresh air. In short feeling like a bad mother, which seems to happen often with twins, since you can’t be everything for both at once.
Here is what sounds absolutely dreamy right now: putting on some stretch pants and a tshirt and going running through the park! Free! Short of that, I’d like to just take this baby, already on me, and just go to the friggin’ grocery store! Just walk down the stairs and away! Gosh dang it I feel trapped! Don’t worry, though, I won’t just sit here feeling sorry for myself. After the next feeding I will suck it up and get all the gear organized to get out of the house. Sigh.